How to stop nighttime calls

If your phone is buzzing on the nightstand at 2 a.m., the short version is: this isn't personal, and it isn't really about you. It's a well-documented dementia pattern, and there's a fix that doesn't involve blocking your own mother.

Why this happens

It could be as simple as not remembering time-zone or as severe as repetitive calling.  It is likely memory loss plus anxiety, not a behavior aimed at you. She doesn't remember she already called. Confusion and fear both spike in the evening (a well-known pattern called sundowning), which is why the calls cluster overnight far more than during the day. Caregiver forums are full of nearly identical stories: a parent calling a facility or a family member dozens of times a night asking to go home, with no memory of the calls five minutes later.

Why silencing your phone doesn't actually solve it

The instinct is to mute your own phone or block the number. Both come with a cost. Muting means you might miss the one call that's a real emergency. Blocking removes her ability to reach you at all — including for anything genuine — and she'll still pick up the phone and try, repeatedly, getting more agitated each time it doesn't connect. You've moved the problem, not solved it.

The more effective fix works on her phone, not yours: limit when the call button is available to her in the first place, on a schedule, while keeping it fully available for emergencies and during the day.

What a call curfew looks like

This is exactly the gap GranConnect's Call Curfew feature was built for. (We almost named it after a family member in another timezone.) You set quiet hours, and during that window, the Call button simply isn't there. Not a busy signal, not a block: a calm on-screen note ("Where is the call button?") explaining calling will be back in the morning. Texting and email stay available the whole time, so she's never fully cut off. And anyone marked as an emergency contact stays callable 24/7, curfew or not.

One honest limit: Call Curfew controls calls started from GranConnect. If she still reaches for the regular Phone app, move it off the Home Screen, or pair GranConnect with Screen Time's Downtime.

A few alternatives people try first, and where they fall short:

• Do Not Disturb, set on her phone: this silences calls and notifications coming in. It does nothing to stop her calling out, so it doesn't solve this problem.

• Screen Time Downtime with Communication Limits, set on her phone: this is Apple's free, built-in way to do something similar. You schedule quiet hours and choose which contacts stay reachable. The trade-offs: it limits messaging to the same short list, it shows a standard Screen Time limit screen rather than a plain explanation, and it's managed behind a Screen Time passcode. For some families it's enough, and it's worth trying.

• Taking the phone away at night: removes the anxiety trigger but also removes her ability to reach someone if something's genuinely wrong.

• Assistive Access: Apple's whole-phone accessibility mode is excellent for simplifying everything else, but it has no scheduled quiet-hours option.

The bottom line

What works is removing the option to call during the hours it causes the most harm, on a schedule, while leaving a safety net open the whole time. That's a calmer night for both of you, without turning off her ability to reach you when it actually matters.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why does my mom with dementia call me repeatedly at night?
It's typically memory loss combined with anxiety, often worsened by sundowning — confusion that increases in the evening. She doesn't remember she already called; she isn't doing it on purpose.

Should I block my mom's number to stop the calls?
Blocking removes her ability to reach you for anything, including real emergencies, and she'll likely keep trying and grow more agitated. Limiting when she can call, rather than blocking your own phone, is the more effective and safer fix.

How do I set quiet hours for calls on an iPhone?
Do Not Disturb only silences incoming calls; it doesn't stop outgoing ones. The built-in option is Screen Time Downtime with Communication Limits, which limits outgoing calls and messages to chosen contacts on a schedule. GranConnect's Call Curfew hides just the Call button on a schedule (default 9 p.m.–6 a.m.), keeps texting open to everyone, explains itself on screen, and always exempts emergency contacts.

Does Assistive Access have a nighttime calling schedule?
No. Assistive Access is either fully callable or fully restricted, with no time-of-day rule for calls.

Will limiting her calls at night confuse or upset her?
A calm on-screen explanation, rather than a dead end, aim to reduce confusion. GranConnect shows a banner during curfew hours explaining that calling returns in the morning, and texting stays available the whole time.